I still can’t find things to say here. I just don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I can’t choose my readers here. Unlike at multiply. But even over there, I don’t write much. Maybe I just forgot how to be abstract in my writing. Maybe I don’t want too many people knowing too much of what’s going on in my life. I am tempted to delete this blog. But it will be such a waste. I do and still want to write. But not here. Not in multiply. Too many prying eyes. I have a few frustrations unexpressed. But I don’t want anyone to know my frustrations. Maybe I should get myself an old-school journal. But where should I hide that? Maybe I should just get a private blog. I wonder when I have become this secretive. People usually say I am an open book. I kept almost no secrets. I find that secrets lead to lies. No, not that I’m telling any lies now. I just don’t feel like telling anything now.
And oh… I can no longer spin words around. I can no longer whip up verses. I can no longer find the right phrases. I feel so… useless and stupid.
And sometimes… undesired.
Yes, I totally get you. No worries. Understand understood. Maybe it is your hormonal changes? Tried chocolates?
Its always good to acknowledge your deepest emotions. There are moments in life when you feel like you’ve used up everything you possibly have and that nobody would understand you. Thats the time when we retreat back to our shell. Have a moment alone babe, your mind will thank you for it.. Love you loads..
just a hopper… i experienced the same thing all the time… its frustrating really… when the door is closed you can do anything be naked even… but if the door’s open anyone can come in… anyone can pry open your inner world and plunder your ideas, raze your opinion to the ground and kick your heart around… but if you lock them out, they can’t appreciate you spinning your thread of beautiful words… and that beauty can only be appreciated by you… only… its better to share no? and let the world revel and be inspired… there is only one of you…