mairy fodgother

well a room without a window can’t see out

Faint Signal March 15, 2008

Filed under: Lame Dear Diaries — mairy @ 3:43 pm

It’s been a very long while.

I kept telling myself to stimulate my thoughts and whip up a good entry, but I kept arriving at blank. The drive to log about events that I see or go through is no longer there. I no longer see the need to tell the whole freaking world what I feel or think. Of course this is partly due to multiply’s fault for enabling me to publish anything I want to whoever I want (heheh) and also the availability of frenz who always spared their listening ears to my rants.

Not that my life has been uneventful. Then again, maybe it has been. Everything seemed mundane and monotonous now. Work, home, eat, sleep (notice that eat comes after home?) and the cycle repeats everyday. Like a normal human being, I’d like to put the blame on my work, which squeezes the energy out of me. Which causes me to laze ard during the weekends to ‘catch up’ on my lost rest. Boring life, huh? Maybe I should socialise more, but won’t that require more energy? Something that I’m already lack of?

I tried to stop being narcisstic so I stopped talking about me & my life, people do get bored right? I also tried to stop being judgemental so I stopped talking about other people and their flaws/mistakes, no one is perfect, right? And I also tried to stop complaining about work so I stopped ranting about the tasks to be done not actually related to the job, at least I have a stable job (plus I am bounded by some confidential act whatwhatwhat), right? Besides that, I want to be heard. But I do not want to be known. So much conflicting wants I have, no?

Maybe I should pick up a new (or an old) hobby. Say, reading? But I get so tired of reading at work (at times off work) that I dun wanna read anymore. Excuses? Then how about sewing? But my eyes need to rest after all that checking that I doubt I could concentrate. Excuses again?

Wait, lemme think. How did I fill up my time in the past? Hmmm…
Well, I read. And I read. And I read. And oh oh… I jammed for a while. And ermm… I read. I people-watch. I partied. I read again. Oh… I ermm.. dk-ed. And I read some more. I met up with lotsa friends. Chilled with frenz. Partied some more. Camwhored. More camwhoring. And I can’t recall anymore. Damn, my age is catching up!

Oh well, maybe I should go back to reading. NOT!

Ok, I will try my best to write more things here frequently. Try is the keyword. :D

 

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